One of my nicknames for my Hubby was "Double-O-Negro".
Whenever I would go out alone, he would give me a long speech about "minding my surroundings" and remind me to "keep my head on a swivel". He always wanted to know where I was going, who was going to be there, and when to expect me home. On rare late nights out, he wouldn't go to bed until I made it home safely. He was a FIERCE protector.
I remember attending events with him like concerts, sporting events, carnivals, and other occasions where there would be crowds. As we walked hand in hand, he would keep pace just slightly ahead of me, guiding me along and clearing the way. I became so confident in his ability to look out for us that I rarely looked ahead anymore. I trusted his vision and foresight.
Shortly after his passing, I remember a profound sense of vulnerability. The one person who had protected me since I left my father's care was gone. This feeling was only exacerbated by strange experiences with people who, for lack of a better term, "tried it" with me in ways they never would have if Will were still alive.
I started to entertain thoughts that I had to fend for myself, protect myself, and learn to fight for myself. I started moving differently, re-arranging my daily activities and adjusting my schedule. Yes, I have an amazing support system, but they aren't Will. He would stop at nothing to defend Willow and I- "His Girls" as he so affectionately called us. I had subconsciously decided to be my own shield.
Then one morning, I opened the bible app and the scripture for the day hit me like a bolder.
"For thou oh Lord are a SHIELD for me; My glory and the lifter up of my head." Psalms 3:3
It's one of my favorite scriptures, but so easy to forget when we get in difficult times. In that moment, I repented for trying to be for myself what only God was able to be for me. The truth is, He was a shield for Will too! That's why he moved with such bravery and confidence everywhere we went.
Are you reading this and feeling vulnerable due to life's circumstances? Maybe you're a widow like me, a senior citizen without family support, a single parent, or whatever it is- as you go throughout your day, use your holy imagination to see God shielding you everywhere you go!
Walk with great boldness and confidence like you have armed security-because you do! You don't have to BE a shield, you HAVE a shield!
All praise to God for watching over His people everywhere. We are Safe in Him. Selah.
Comentarios